Live wisely in expanded awareness of the cosmos and number vibrations influencing your life. Hermetic wisdom, as above, so below, is where you will find your truth. ~ Sarrah West

UP the Mountain Saturn Return in Capricorn – Part One Selene

Often times people share that their parenting they received in childhood was imbalanced or that it was an experience that left them with harsh memories that in their young adulthood they are trying to release so as to manage their lives as they progress into adulthood. It becomes clear that one or both parents were not nurturing, and some were even hostile, which brings trauma that must be worked on to let go and move toward more self-acceptance.  Everyone’s story is different, but those who face difficult parents have a tough road ahead in undoing the damage in the behavior patterns as well as finding their way to becoming a successful and healthy adult.  This process takes hard work and sometimes hard lessons that they didn’t get as children on self-acceptance and personal security.

Selene began her life on earth at 12:14 pm CST in Tyler, Texas, on March 17, 1990.  Cancer was rising in the east at her birth setting her Ascendant at 8 degrees 15 minutes.  With her Sun in Pisces in her 10th house at 26 degrees 53 minutes and Pisces mid-heaven, she referred to herself more than once in our conversation as a “Pisces-Capricorn,” giving attention to her Saturn in Capricorn at 23 degrees 30 minutes in her 7th house along with Uranus at 9 degree 16 minutes and Neptune at 14 degrees 19 minutes. Her Moon, which rules her Ascendant, is in Sagittarius 6 degrees 34 minutes just inside her 6th house of work, routines, and health.  With Chiron in her 1st house at 10 degrees 34 minutes of Cancer opposite her natal Uranus in her 7th house, I immediately wondered about her family relationships that affect her self-security and self-identity.  The Uranus placement makes me think there’s some instability she’s experienced from an authority figure or with traditional values in her life (Capricorn).

Selene’s Pisces Sun is important being high in the chart in her 10th house but also the ruler of her South Node in Leo located in her 2nd house of values, money and material possessions.  I wonder about her interests in art and how her ego is going through a deep transformation related to something artistic or even spiritual.  Her public persona will have a tie to her past in some way and it will highlight what she values. Is she bringing her artistic talent around again for another go, and is that expression of her ego a part of her deeper transformation of who she is?  There is a powerful connection between her Pisces Sun and her Pluto in Scorpio in her 5th house. But there is also something she may discover with new information, technology, astrology or even leading-edge ideas, as her North Node in Aquarius at 15 degrees 34 minutes retrograde is in her 8th house of shared resources in a conjunction with Venus at 11 degrees 06 minutes and Mars is nearby at 4 degrees 31 minutes.  With Venus and Mars in her 8th house her North Node growth includes her Venus and Mars, which are symbols of her love and compassion with others as well as her courage and free will initiative. Placed in her 8th house, their qualities are more hidden from view and may only be observed in intimate relationships. Currently Selene is married, and she is not working, so her spouse is symbolized by her 7th house, the sign ruler (Saturn) and planets in Capricorn may show her Saturn return experience emphasized in her relationships, especially through her spouse and his supporting role for her.  Selene may also see her father during her Saturn return having more responsibility and Saturnine characteristic behaviors. She may come into work as well during this period over the next three years, which is one manifestation for a Cardinal sign like Capricorn. Because Saturn in transit will be opposite her Jupiter at 1-degree Cancer 31 minutes in her 12th house, I anticipate she will have new awareness related to relationship with her family and her mother.  Her Jupiter and Moon are in mutual reception, so these planets are helping each other via the sign exchange, but they are not visible to one another in aspect to have a more supportive dynamic. I asked Selene about her family and her mother because of Chiron in her 1st house and in the sign of Cancer as well as Jupiter in the 12th house. Although Jupiter in Cancer is exalted, it has the tendency to amplify whatever it is focused upon, which may include suffering or loss in the 12th house around security or relations with the mother, which I learnedabout for Selenein our conversation.  There’s a lot of tension symbolized from Chiron in Cancer, and from Uranus in Capricorn, which behaves like the chaotic liberator or rebel.  Uranus is disruptive; it doesn’t like the status quo and is unyielding in breaking through or breaking down structure and form in the sign of Capricorn. Traditional values are likely to be replaced with new ideas and ways of connecting with others in this position, but it is born from the pain of the family situation or parent that was difficult in early life.

The lunar nodes for Selene in the 2nd and 8th houses inform me that she is growing through understanding what she values from difficult family relationships, especially with respect to her mother, that have influenced and impacted her own personal identity over time.  Selene has been making choices in her adult life to set hard boundaries to guide where she can to grow more objectively in her emotions and to live her own life. She intends to create a safe and balanced home that isn’t as disruptive as what she experienced in her immediate family relationships.  She describes her mother as an energy vampire, meaning that if she gives too much of herself, her mother will zap her energy.  She shares that she is disconnected from her mother for this reason, but she knows that disconnection is necessary for her own well-being.  She is also troubled by the fact that her sister is partnered up with her mother in her difficult demands and communications.  Selene has found them both to be increasingly draining and has distanced herself from them for now.  She let me know that she is closer to her father but has found that he doesn’t shield her from the attacks from her mother and he escapes into his music and sometimes drinking.  As frustrating as it has been for her,Selene does appreciate that she has a positive relationship with her father.  Pluto in Scorpio is in a tight t-square to her nodal axis at 17 degrees 35 minutes retrograde with Black Moon Lilith at 19 degrees 36 minutes and Juno at 25 degrees 2 minutes retrograde. Pluto in the 5th house is square her nodal axis in his own sign is a very powerful skipped step around death and things that may have come upon her around her self-expression (ego) and even possibly children that may have been in a life-or-death situation in a past life.  Interestingly, I learned that Selene has clearly decided to have no children this life since the thought of having children scares her, which is not surprising given this configuration.  An intense and transforming energy is there for Selene to work with, which made me wonder about her creative pursuits and whether they were in line with the likes of Edgar Allan Poe, for example.  She is very artistic and perhaps this is the angle her soul needs for transformation and healing.  Her Cancer rising sign is an indication of the embodiment of her emotional feeling nature that may be expressed in her art. Her rising sign Cancer offers her a chance to evolve from the Leo south node from the money and fame or adoration perspective of it to a more detached objective understanding of herself from what it brings just to her own soul and her values, note her Moon the ruler of Cancer is in a trine aspect to her South Node in her 2nd house.

Jupiter in Cancer by Solar Arc reached an opposition to her Uranus in Capricorn when she was eight years old. She does remember one experience around identity during this time having to do with her sense of morality and obligations to her spirituality, family, and societal expectations, as well as her sense of sexuality.  One year later, at the age of nine years old, Jupiter in Cancer would have reached her natal Chiron, adding to the story around self-security and identity expression in the world.  At the age of nine everyone is in the cycle of their first nodal opposition, where the north node is on the south node and vice versa.  Selene’s nodal opposition at age nine would have brought her attention around someone else’s resources or other people’s values, and with Pluto square the nodes it may have been a difficult experience with shadow around creativity or self-expression.  Her husband will be important in her adult life in helping her understand the Capricorn archetype.  She is the witness of his experience that has a Capricorn archetypal frame to his relationship with her.  Her artistic endeavors will be where she finds her transformation via Pluto in Scorpio in her 5th house.  However, Pluto is square her nodes, so it may have themes of death that are rather shocking with Aquarius in the 8th house.  Does her art reveal her depth of feeling? Does it showcase fear, grief or shadow experiences that need a different channel to express itself through her art?  Has the mother archetype been a subject of her art, and what feeling does it evoke if that has been her subject to express artistically?  While writing this I recall studying Frida Kahlo’s art that had the mother (nursing) images in one of her famous paintings and how Frida expressed the challenging relationship she had experienced with her mother in her art.  Her art moved people, and others could experience their own feelings about the subject — perhaps relating to their own difficult mother relationships.  That experience may also illuminate the path for Selene in her artistic pursuits. The combination of the Pluto in the 5th house square the nodes, in the 2nd and 8th and Chiron in Cancer opposite Uranus in Capricorn makes me wonder about the identity of family and mother that had a tragic history in her past lives.  A tragic loss in the family with a deep wound in the mother archetype would explain why Selene is taking another route in this life that allows a former artistic talent to resurface to heal the deep wound.   Past life unconscious memory such as sudden loss, a mother losing an infant in childbirth, or a young child suffering via solitude due to illness (Moon in 6th in Sagittarius with ruler of Sagittarius Jupiter in 12th), or even the loss of a child’s ability to express itself was traumatized in a tragic life event, are potentials in these planetary combinations from past life potentials.

With a significant amount of water symbols in her chart, Selene feels things intensely.  Her Cancer sign rising, with Jupiter within 7 degrees of her Ascendant enhances the feeling nature, especially what is in her subconscious mind in her 12th house. Her Sun in Pisces with boundless feeling and imaginative, along with Pluto in Scorpio bringing her ego expression into the deepest part of her psyche really is part of her creative nature.  Selene has something deeply emotional to surface in her art and give it voice to emotions and feelings that haven’t found words but may find their breath in her paint. The other mother archetype we can explore is the dwarf planet Ceres, also in Selene’s 12th house.  In the sign of Gemini, Ceres is exactly square Selene’s sun (and Gemini’s ruling planet Mercury too), one more signature in her natal chart reflecting conflict with the mother archetype and is reflecting into her actual life experience.  In Gemini, Ceres’ is symbolic of the perceptions in the unconscious mind and potential communication issues.  Art and writing is one way to work through the hidden wounds that lie in our subconscious mind.  It is from that perspective that we can begin exploring dream images, using creative writing to find themes for what lies hidden and deep within our psyche.  This is where the gold would be for Selene to mine.

It’s been about two and half months since I had an in-depth conversation with Selene.  Since then her life has had some new awareness with transiting Saturn moving through her 7th house, opposing her natal Jupiter at 1-degree Cancer 31 minutes.  Just before Saturn in transit would reach an opposition to her natal Chiron, Saturn stations retrograde on April 18th at 9 Capricorn, which is making an exact conjunction with her Uranus. Something is opening to get a new view with this transit.  It may be a breakthrough or breaking open again the wounded self in the psyche that reflects her beliefs in her life experience.  Selene shared in this third week of April 2018 that the Saturn in Capricorn with Mars and Pluto also in Capricorn have made her struggle with emotions (squaring the Cancer of her 1st house and Ascendant angle).  Her husband’s car broke down during the beginning of the recent Mercury retrograde (Mercury Rx began March 22, 2018) and the engine was destroyed, and a week later he rolled her car and it was totaled, too.  Their finances took a hit to purchase another car, so he has the only car.  Selene said this is not the first time she’s been in this kind of situation, as she recognized her husband is a bit accident prone.   She feels the pinch and wants some change and realizes at the moment her ability to make change is limited to her environment.  So, her focus is on her creative impulses and redoing some of her house’s interior with new paint and seeking new ways to feel a sense of peace.  Selene’s recent stings on exchanges in social connections have her a bit more withdrawn now, but with astrology she is able to understand the present moment with serious Saturn.  She turns to her art to experiment with new forms and mediums and working on a long-term goal to publish a coloring book.

When Mars reaches 4 degrees Aquarius late May next month, at the same time Uranus is making its ingress into Taurus, Selene may have some additional awareness of her Mars in Aquarius coming online with her Mars return (Mars returns are every two years).  This transit will be very strong in her 8th house (others’ resources, death, hidden interests or secrets) and her 11th house Taurus (friends and aspirations).  It may be that Selene expresses this transit by voicing her view to something about human rights and what’s going on in the political landscape. Selene was quite comfortable in expressing her opinions about her values in this area, and it may be something she does more proactively in the coming months as well with friends.

Selene’s Saturn return has another year to reach exact to her natal Saturn at 23 degrees 30 minutes in Capricorn.  It’s a growth that takes time to materialize.  In three years, Selene may be surprised by the boundaries she set, the approach to relationships she’s discerned is right for her, and what she values and how that becomes her focused fuel for herself and her involvement in her community.  Her future is up to her as is what she decides is her contribution to society as she matures and decides what she intends to do with her gifts in this life.