Live wisely in expanded awareness of the cosmos and number vibrations influencing your life. Hermetic wisdom, as above, so below, is where you will find your truth. ~ Sarrah West

UP the Mountain Saturn Return in Capricorn – Part One Danais

Is strength something we are born with or something we attain through direct experience of our vulnerability that inspires us to breathe our inner warrior to life?   Danais’ birth on March 29, 1989, at 8:15 pm in Drobeta Turnu Severin (Romania) began her journey.   Hers is a heroine’s journey with soul lessons centered on her south node in Virgo (11th house) and north node in Pisces (5th house) where to unlock her gifts she will need to master her fifth house north node flexing her creativity muscles.  Her South Node ruler is Mercury, located in Aries in her 6th, and her North Node ruler is Neptune in Capricorn in her 3rd house. Her skipped steps, Mars and Jupiter in Gemini in her 8th house, are her past life blocks she will need to unravel, integrate and heal.   Mars at 11 degrees 12 minutes and Jupiter at 3 degrees 2 minutes tightly square her nodal axis of 4 degrees 17 minutes.  Pisces and Virgo symbolize someone that needs their own success this life and to find their voice as part of their creative process.  An interesting fact from her mother’s life prior to Danais’ birth in 1989 was that her mother was pregnant with twins that did not survive to birth.   Danais’ mother would have had an immense sadness and grief about the vulnerability of life in the time period when Danais was conceived and possibly up through her birth.  In our conversation during her reading, Danais also shared, “I feel like I’m two in one body.”

The pre-birth story of her mother’s pregnancy and loss seems to be reflected within Danais’ chart with her Mars and Jupiter squares her nodal axis from her 8th house.  In evolutionary astrology, Jupiter square the nodes also speaks to coming up against a figure of authority. Jupiter square the nodal axis also may reflect that the person perceived someone they knew had more power than they did, they pushed against it and felt powerless and it was troublesome for their soul. Some with Jupiter square the nodes may project onto others jealousy or resentment for what the other has and what they may want, they may day dream of getting rich and famous quickly.  Someone with Jupiter square the nodes needs to be noticed for their own work and need to have faith and take risks to make it happen in life.  This is the struggle for Jupiter square to the lunar nodes.  In Gemini this could be writing, communications, thought patterns and perceptions.

Exploring Mars square the lunar nodes we may see violence, anger and frustrations in the life voiced not without great consequence.  With Mars in the 8th house, a connection to Scorpio themes exists with the Mars energy and a depth of raw emotions that may seem overwhelming.  For Danais it would mean a conscious effort to channel her anger or frustrations to healthy outlets of expression, sports or athletics, or even writing powerful stories of warrior types who embark on a hero’s journey.  Mars in the skipped step of the nodal axis may have become stuck due to personal threats, even death threats, and violence that left a deep wound in her memory that needs to heal with work and new understanding in this life.  Rage or fear along with powerlessness is the potential theme for  Danais’ life, and she’ll have to find great courage (Mars) to overcome them.  It’s a bit of a paradox for her, as Mars distorted may want to dispose of violent people, and truly the healing route is to forgive and find courage to appear threatening without having to take an action, or at least find the mental agility to remove herself from a potential violent interaction.   Danais’ growth includes evolving her bravery and experiencing herself as capable of self-defense, not just physical defense (Mars), but also her mental agility and wit to maneuver challenging moments with others that seem superior in language (Gemini), to gaining confidence with having the right thing to say in a specific moment.

Mercury in Aries is quick to speak, and Danais may fumble because there’s not often a pause before she speaks and thus she finds herself in trouble for speaking out when a more tactful reply would have been better.   Danais’ Mars and Mercury are in mutual reception in each other’s signs providing some support for navigating her skipped step Mars.  The house position of natal Mars in the 8th and natal Mercury in the 6th may require her to do a lot of inner work to know her blind spots, and yet Mars is in a trine (120 degrees angle), in an air sign (Gemini) just like her Ascendant (Libra).  Her soul sets up life situations where she must experience her own power and courage and where it will be clear to her where she is in the present moment within this context to understand her consciousness.   Danais shared that she used to be a lot more bubbly and chatty, but over time and after hard experiences she has backed down a bit and takes more time to think things through.  She acknowledges that she used to be very direct but that didn’t really go well and thus she changed her behavior. Even though  Danais’ had these difficult experiences, she wonders now if she is off track from her genuine self, she wonders if she is stand firm on being true to herself including being direct when it’s for something she deeply cares about in her life.  As Danais moves through her Saturn return cycle she will likely come to know when being direct is imperative for her authenticity.

Danais’ a Libra rising at 14 degrees 5 minutes with her Ascendant ruler Venus in Aries in the 6th house of her chart at 7 degrees 23 minutes, with her Sun in Aries at 8 degrees 59 minutes and her Mercury is at 3 degrees 3 minutes as well.   Danais identity is as a Libra rising and her experience of life illuminated by duality is in multiple signatures of her chart. Her 7th house is ruled by Aries, which attracts those who are Mars like in their nature and personality.  How might Danais grow these areas in her life?  Owning her power and finding her courage takes guts!   She may find a practice of martial arts, body training, or even weapons training as a way to channel this area of growth in her life.  She may take courses on self-defense training, and perhaps in turn become someone who trains others, too.  This is one potential for finding confidence in her inner warrior and finding her inner soldier of life and re-birthing it from her own sweat and hard work.  She may also find this expression of herself through her desire to write a novel, which is one of Danais’ goals and deep desires to achieve.

We learned of  Danais’ mother’s pregnancy and twins’ loss prior to her birth and  Danais’ new understanding of her mother’s melancholy.   Danais’ dad was a musician and travelled a bit when she was younger, so often Danais was alone with her mom.  However, Danais shared that she always felt closer to her father, and she shared that he was a Cancer sun and saw him as more of the “softie” and her mom was more of the authority figure when she was young.  Though now the relationships have swapped and she finds herself closer to her mom now than she was as a child.   Her mother is a Sagittarius Sun, so Danais’ family takes on her 10th and 4th house axis in the solar sign of her father (Cancer rules the 10th).  Danais’ mom as the authority figure for her growing up embodies more of the Capricorn archetype.  Saturn (Capricorn) rules her 4th house. With Venus the ruler of her Ascendant in Aries, Danais acknowledges her competitiveness, although she has a strong desire to find harmony with others, even though she has this undercurrent of fiery energy within her.

Pluto in her 1st house on the cusp of her second house in Scorpio is the urge for the deepest transformation of her soul and absolute metamorphous of her identity. Her metamorphous includes her values (2nd house).   Danais feels and knows this deep urge in her for an absolute change as she says, “I feel this Scorpio and Pluto more like… myself.  I don’t know how to explain.  I just know that so many times I felt like I kept being “reborn” out of my own ashes after some experiences… and from what I’ve read, Pluto has to do with patterns, behaviors and stuff like that and it makes me think about how I feel sometimes like…I’m falling in the same patterns over and over again.”  She is still learning, and her Saturn return will be a period of significant personal challenge demanding she acquire a new level of toughness.  It may be a turning point if she comes up against the same patterns and absolutely has to let go of a behavior or find a way to get support to create a breakthrough of an old pattern.  With Saturn in Capricorn, she may experience harsh judgments from others, and Danais may receive these judgments related to the communications she shares with others.  She may find it helpful to get a mentor who will critique her writing and propel her to a higher mastery of her writing, which is one way to align with the archetypes in her chart during this transit. Perhaps a new method will come to her that works well for her in releasing and letting go of negative emotions that are still buried and unexpressed, such as past-life regression therapy, tapping, meditation, journaling, emotional code body work or sound therapy.  Her study of astrology is already helping her see with new eyes and expanding her awareness of herself.  Pluto has been demanding absolute change as it transits her Capricorn stellium in the third house while also in a square to her Sun, Venus and Mercury in Aries.

Danais’ Moon is at 0 degrees 26 minutes, Vesta at 3 degrees 26 minutes, Uranus at 5 degrees 17 minutes, Neptune at 12 degrees 19 minutes, and Saturn at 13 degrees 26 minutes in Capricorn in her third house.  This combination speaks to working heavily in communications or some form of exchange of information over a long period of time which includes potentials for a paradigm shift for her personally.  Who knows maybe she will create a fantasy trilogy that takes a long time to write.  She now faces the hard work to restructure her communications and making deep commitments to projects with Saturn after the demands of Pluto were on her to transform and change.  She must do the work now to rebuild herself in this area and give it form with her new understanding.   Finding the right combination of focus, physical and mental agility, and an ambitious project to use her energies will be beneficial for Danais’ reach to new heights and for the milestones she sets to conquer.  Mars and Jupiter in Gemini in her 8th house have a tone of secrecy to them, getting to information that is hidden, possibly about the occult, astrology, or even that she may write under a “pen name” that veils her identity.  She may find it rewarding to have her writings published with a persona she creates that hides her true identity from the public.  A pseudonym may give her the opportunity to write on more taboo and dark Plutonic underworld topics.

If we look at the key transits of Saturn, the Secondary Progressions of planets after she was born, and her Solar Arcs of planets, we see significant events in Danais’ life.  When Saturn moved by Solar Arc to her nadir (4th house angle) when  Danais was around 10 ½ years old,  Danais’ aunt died in a car crash unexpectedly,which was three years after  Danais’ dear grandmother passed away and she experienced deep sorrow.   She was very close to her grandmother.  At this time Uranus in Capricorn was conjunct Neptune by Solar Arc in her third house and also was inconjunct (150 degree aspect) her natal Mars in Gemini in her 8th house.   Danais’ perception of the vulnerability of life from these unexpected deaths of close family members became more acute.  Life continued to be an overwhelming battle for Danais.  At age 13 ½ she was raped, which became one of the most painful and haunting experiences in her young life.  Fear and rage became part of her experience of life in a profound way.  At this age her Moon in Capricorn by Solar Arc had reached a conjunction with her natal Saturn.  A couple years later, when Danais was around age 15, another life experience highlighted her fiery Aries Sun and dicey Mars and Jupiter in Gemini.  At the age of 15 she ran away from home after having a fight with her mother.  During this time Solar Arc Sun in Aries was opposite her natal Black Moon Lilith. She ran away for one night, with her parents looking for her, she found refuge with her boyfriend, though her cousin also knew where to find her and was Danais’ connection to returning home. Her cousin told her mom and dad where she was and she eventually returned home.  Danais did not feel safe with her mother in the moment she ran, who had earlier in her childhood hit her when angry which had led  Danais to close down emotionally in her relationship with her mother.  Because of that episode, she did not communicate about her new boyfriend relationship to them.  In time they talked, an especially deep talk with her mother, which became a moment of breakthrough.  Her parents grew to like her boyfriend.

The running away did seem to replicate the mythical story of Lilith seeking refuge in the wilderness from her rage. But another planet in her chart is also symbolic of her need to escape in the moment via Neptune.  Around this time, Neptune in Capricorn had turned retrograde in her secondary progressed chart.  Neptune stationed retrograde on May 3, 2004, just after Danais’ 15th birthday at 12 degrees Capricorn 23 minutes.  Coming in 2019, Neptune will return to the exact degree and minute of 12 degree Capricorn 19 minutes of her natal Neptune on December 31st.

Another look into Danais’ natal chart focused on 6th house themes of health one can see challenges to her health with her first house (vitality) ruler in the 6th house.  Recently, in January 27, 2017, Danais had surgery after two years of ongoing tests and pain related to one of her kidneys (Libra).  With medical tests it was determined that one of her kidneys did not grow correctly, was upside down from how it should’ve been, and was stuffed with kidney stones.  The surgery corrected the stones issue, but they did not reposition the kidney, leaving it to function the way it was.  The doctors told her to be mindful of her diet so she wouldn’t get stones again, which was challenging, but she successfully dealt with it.  For Danais it’s been a constant challenge as she has matured through her twenties.  Though she is in a better relationship with her mother and is a place of support for her now, Danais feels they have lots of catching up to do from this new place in their relationship.  She also has support through her friends.  She feels like she has something big to offer in this life and has felt that way ever since she was a kid around age five or six.  She used to pretend that she was a celebrity and that dream has morphed into her dream to write a fantasy book.   Danais’ writing heroes are Tolkien and George R.R. Martin.  It remains her number one dream to write a book and is serious about taking action on her goal.  She is working on a daily writing habit routine.  She realized her own capacity to write during a time she was blogging about other authors and analyzing their plots and theories in detail.

With Danais’ North Node in Pisces and South Node in Virgo there’s potential for always being deeply enmeshed in thought, reaching for new material for future dreams, and learning that she can eventually become the puppet of her own dreams if she’s not careful.  When she puts her feet firmly on the ground with her friends and family she may find that they even remind her of characters in her dream space. She’s really learning about how dreams have potential to manifest themselves and how she should be careful about what she is creating in her imagination space.  Her writing is a great place to put her imagination to work and into manifestation on the printed page!  She enjoys creating stories around spirituality, having been around religious cults in her youth that had her ask a lot of questions; she finds herself writing about patterns and symbols she observes, such as those found in Christianity and Hinduism.  She finds it compelling to write where there has been misinterpretation in the religious teaching and why people are fighting over the religious dogma.  Her lunar nodes are a guide for her in understanding the barrier between dreams and action and figuring out the effort to break down the walls and obstacles in reality.  She is receiving an understanding about reality versus all the potentials she sees in the dream space.

Life doesn’t always go as easy as we think, nor does it happen in any sort of a direct line to the reality we experience. While Danais’ Neptune in Capricorn is good for imagination, it has a practical edge to it.  Uranus in Capricorn is also a challenge as it brings the unexpected, or the archetype comes through Danais where she brings the unexpected to life.  Life always has the potential of chaos, but we may find breakthroughs from old patterns when Uranus is active.  Uranus in the third house has amplification to her perception and her racing thoughts and restlessness, and square to her natal Mercury in her 6th house is both a gift and a curse for high voltage through her mental space.   Danais realized the difference between her idea of something and actual reality when she moved to the United Kingdom to study English back in November 2011 through March 2012.  She had first learned English through watching television, but it was American English. She also learned English through classes in University.  Danais’ education is in Philology her major specialized in English-Romanian grammar and literature!   We can see more of her Mercury in Aries, Mars, Jupiter, and Gemini in her degree.  She wanted to learn more of the culture of the language while in England, but when she got there she found the culture very different than what she had thought it would be, even though she felt comfortable with the language. She wanted to improve her knowledge of the culture and deepen her understanding of their way of living, to actually see if all the things she was taught in school were for real. She found that she was critiqued for her language usage and missed the British culture subtleties of the language that one would only learn from living in the country. She did not get used to the culture differences between her native country and United Kingdom on her first visit, so her plan did not go as she had hoped.  It was a reality check, but a lesson worth learning.

Early in life Danais’ mother taught her that “if you want to get something done, you do it for yourself, with your own strength.” Danais learned that she was a bit less inclined to ask for help, but later in life she wasn’t sure that change was positive or negative, because sometimes the work was too big and she learned you needed to ask for help.  She’s still learning when to ask for help.  Her father instilled values of always being kind, to be a helpful person, be giving, and being respectful to others, to all human beings, especially her elders and life itself.  She felt her father was a decent human being, while her mother taught her the value that she had to fight for life.  She had these two different perspectives and sometimes they bumped up against one another in her mind and her real world experience.  She would then wonder which one is right? Again we see the paradox for Danais to figure out her values and to find equilibrium between the two as she matures into adulthood.  Her goal right now is to complete her book; she’s planned for research, writing out character details and plot that will take her dedicated focus and commitment.  She does hold close to the motto “fall down eight times you get up nine,” and that keeps her climbing towards her peak.  In a few months we’ll see where Danais has progressed in Part Two of her Saturn return in Capricorn story.