Live wisely in expanded awareness of the cosmos and number vibrations influencing your life. Hermetic wisdom, as above, so below, is where you will find your truth. ~ Sarrah West

UP the Mountain Saturn Return in Capricorn – Part One Aaron

Aaron began life joining his eccentric family with his sister and a set of devoted, hippy-loving parents in Fairfax, California.  He brought an edgy spiritedness to the family that would keep them on their toes in his boyish youth.  Born on January 24, 1990, at 6:40 pm PST, he lit up their lives and continues to show the world his uniquely open self when it feels safe.  Growing up as a vivacious boy who felt open with his sexuality even at a young age, Aaron learned in a widely open childhood with free-love parents that his body wasn’t anything he should be ashamed of, and this lesson set the tone for early, shocking experiences for him.  With his Sun in Aquarius at 4 degrees 51 minutes with the North Node at 16 degrees 28 minutes retrograde and South Node in Leo just over 4 degrees from his Leo Ascendant at 20 degrees 51 minutes, we see the destiny line that Aaron’s soul has set for his course this life.  Pluto in Scorpio at 17 degrees 35 minutes just inside the 4th house cusp at 14 degrees 1 minute Scorpio tells us that something Scorpio in nature set him off his course within his family experience. Potentially in a prior life he had similar experiences, and we’d likely see them again this life as Pluto square to his nodal axis.  A Pluto underworld type experience is either one of agony and fear or it would be a deeply transformative experience that would lead him through a death of self and ego in some way, and that may have felt like the hard brick of reality related to a family experience.  With his sun in Aquarius, conjunct the North Node, I knew he’s been in this kind of scenario before, but he’s back to deal with it in a new way to unravel the Pluto experiences with new perspective and understanding.  His soul is aiming for a breakthrough here.

Early in Aaron’s life he did in fact have a Pluto in Scorpio experience with his family.  When Aaron was a six year old boy he was open with his sexual nature, something he learned in a very natural and open environment with his parents.  One illuminating example is as a family they would go skinny dipping together and it wasn’t considered taboo.  Innocently, this led to suffering as a six year old when Aaron’s best friend’s mother accused his parents of molestation.  This was a life altering wake-up call for their lifestyle as it was perceived by more traditional middle class neighbors.  It was incredibly devastating for little Aaron at that age to lose his best friend and not understand yet his natural self as a gay boy.  He also knows from his sister recalling the events to him that it was a terrible experience she had endured while answering questions from the police.  She was slightly older than Aaron at age 11 when this happened. She had to cope with the full awareness of what was happening and Aaron had to leave his school district make new friends.  He remembers this was a very dark time for him and his family.  His parents, as hippy zealots, framed his ideas of the world at a young age and were domineering in their zest for their life and beliefs around certain behaviors.  Later, as he matured, he would perceive them as pushing the hippy lifestyle, if even subtly, which upset him about their parenting style.  He also thought his mother had experienced post-partum depression and feels extremely nurturing toward her, even more than her maternal feelings towards him.  This undoubtedly connects Aaron’s natal Chiron in Cancer opposite his Neptune in Capricorn (disillusionment) and his Moon within two degrees (symbolism for his mother and family), which is observing her as a parent with imperfections, and one potential for why he holds a wound around self-security and self nurturing (Cancer) in his awareness and in his process of healing.  Aaron describes his father as the Midwestern hard working man with suppressed emotions and who is duty driven and fairly “old school” in his ways. The very place of Aaron’s wound found within Chiron in Cancer in his 11th house may hold the key around his purposeful work.  In time and through life’s “university-of-hard-knocks,” Aaron may see parts of himself in his mother and father; both also have Moon in Capricorn.  Aaron is realizing his own responsible self in his young adult life.

Aaron has a lot to say on the subject of what children as human beings need to be safe and develop in a dynamic and chaotic world.  He realizes he was a bit of a rebel pushing on his parents rules for drinking tap water, consuming processed sugar, and questioning why other kids got immunized and he wasn’t, and wondered if it wasn’t safe.  He always pushed on the idea of security, perceived and real.  He questioned often what was true and actual and what was false from perceptions and beliefs.  He aggressively pushed up against the lifestyle his parents believed was healthy and natural.  He pondered the big questions about why people do one thing related to safety and why others didn’t, which provoked questions to this contradiction and what that meant about his parents and their ways of living that either supported safety or seemed to be rather neglectful.  He keenly observed these broad perspectives while growing more aware of the life around him.  He shut down around age nine when he was outwardly expressing who he was in a playful and even sensual way that was deemed inappropriate to his friends and the surrounding community.  He notes that this is the age when he began suppressing his true self and who he was as a person to co-exist in harmony with others.  He felt his parents were fundamentalist, if even subtly, and that really had the effect of Aaron looking beyond their lifestyle for more reasonable figures of authority.  Aaron’s thinking about his parenting is another way to see his Capricorn moon (conjunct Saturn) at work in his life.

At Aaron’s nodal return just around the age of 18 he partially came out as gay, though it was very painful. By the age of 20 he was out completely to the world in this part of his identity.  During this time he needed to travel over 7,000 miles away to retrieve his sister who was getting her PhD abroad.  During her studies she developed a severe panic disorder. While his parents paid for the airfares, they were incapable of caring for her. His godmother warned him about the situation, since his sister was only talking to her about the incident.  With this understanding from his godmother he told his parents he truly needed to go.  When he arrived, the situation was quite dramatic because she was suffering greatly and he had to figure out how to take care of her in a foreign country.  His Capricorn moon kicked in and he was calm and methodical throughout the process.  He kept track of everything, called his medical professional friends, and stayed by her side.  Aaron found the experience frightening, however, and there was a lot of fear and concern among his family about how she would stabilize even with his steady presence.  Thankfully she did stabilize.  Interestingly, his sister’s breakdown occurred during her own Saturn return.  For Aaron it was sad because his parents didn’t really have the bandwidth to help, although they are both heavily duty driven with their Capricorn moons; they didn’t know how to be emotionally attuned enough to help her with their direct presence. The experience rattled him and taught him a lot about how to care for people in crisis.  He has found himself in similar situations, guiding people through really intense and unfortunate experiences. This intensity also helped him manage the public in his bartending career. He recognizes his people skills, and his ability to empathize has grown a lot. He also learned firsthand the importance of mental healthcare.  This important life event occurred just after Aaron’s natal nodal return, highlighting his South Node in Leo and North Node in Aquarius with Pluto square to the nodes from the fourth house of family.

When Aaron was 23 years old one of his roommates had a psychiatric episode and tried to evict Aaron and his roommate from their apartment.  This was an awful experience for them with the roommate punching holes in the wall, crying and screaming all night, and expressing her suicidal tendencies. Aaron was going to leave and find a new place until his close friend told him to double down and stand his ground and that tenant law was on their side.  Aaron had never asserted himself this strongly since childhood.  In the end, his other roommate and he managed to take over the lease and he formed a good friendship with his remaining roommate, which in itself was a complex and challenging relationship that led to some healing.

Once again Aaron was rudely awakened to the harsh realities of the working world when he was fired from his first job at age 23, which was very painful for him as well.  Being let go from his job was not only hard due to the lost opportunity, but it also hit his center of his self-security with a hard knock. This was the period of time when Saturn in transit moved through Scorpio going over his 4th house angle and then over his natal Pluto in Scorpio.  While Saturn was transiting through Aaron’s 4th house, he also was going through a significant transformation of his self expression too.  Pluto in Capricorn transited past his natal Uranus and Mercury (7 degrees 9 minutes and 11 degrees and 10 minutes of Capricorn), transforming forever his perspective and his ego through upheaval and change, which then began a shift in his perceptions, thoughts and communication with others.  When Pluto first connected with his natal Neptune in Capricorn February 23, 2014, at 12 degrees 55 minutes, he felt disillusioned  At this time, Jessica, (his friend) and he were living with a third roommate who actually hit on him when he was trying to be friendly and then moved out after a couple months. This experience hurt and he felt really depressed about it.  He was lonely and looking for gay friends; however, he didn’t appreciate being hit on from his roommate.  It taught him to be more cautious before befriending roommates.  He learned it was important to take things more slowly.  After the guy moved out, around June, 2014, a new housemate moved in who was messy, unkind, and had a rather harsh personality. Aaron learned to trust his gut and to not always invite people in close who are immediately charming. With Pluto so close in transit to Aaron’s natal moon in Capricorn at 14 degrees 23 minutes, depression may have been a struggle along with the intensity of the changing dynamics and not having the direction right for him to know his next step.

Aaron’s North Node in Aquarius in his 6th house is a soul intention for service to humanity in some selfless way, maybe even through his work.  His soul is evolving his Leo South Node of self-centered approach to life and working towards an Aquarian focus as a “water bearer” in service to mankind.  He acknowledges that he yearns for that understanding of where this larger purpose destiny will come, though he can see it in many of the thoughts he has on life, security of self in the world, and what all human beings should have to be free and safe and with nutritious foods and a village of support for children as they bloom into adulthood.  His early life experiences with his own family set some of his beliefs on what children should have in our fragile world as the population continues to grow and on what our resources need great care and management, including how we address the increasing demands of climate change and how we deal with that from local small farms to responsible growth and energy use.  Aaron acknowledges he led part of his life in a very self-centered manner in his twenties, but he is searching for purposeful work that makes sense for him.    He had started attending acupuncture school, but as Saturn recently transited over his natal Mars at 26 Sagittarius 46 minutes, it was like a hard turn in his life as he dropped that education process, not wanting to incur the debt for the program and having thought he had landed on the right place for him, yet it was not.

In our conversation Aaron and I discussed how Pluto was breaking down the ideas and previous structures of his life and ego and preparing him for whatever was coming, especially when Saturn transits through Capricorn and brings him something to work on and an opportunity to reach a new level of maturity.  He will eventually commit to something, but he may need to go within himself and listen carefully to his soul’s whispering of where the next step on the long journey with Saturn’s return.  Saturn in Capricorn is a lifelong journey into mastery and it won’t happen overnight; however what he does find during his Saturn return will be enduring work, something he is likely to still be doing at his second Saturn return 30 years from now.  This is the enduring capacity of Saturn in Capricorn.  Similar to his peers on this Saturn return journey Aaron will discover his work, the seeds of his career, during this three year period while Saturn transits Capricorn, and he will likely have a significant understanding of the dynamic change that Pluto has demanded in his life when Saturn catches up with Pluto in Capricorn exact conjunct on January 12, 2020; they will be exactly 22 degrees 45 minutes, both just over 2 degrees from Aaron’s natal Venus in Capricorn at 24 degrees 58 minutes (RX at birth).  Saturn will almost reach this degree in April of 2019, and Pluto goes retrograde on April 25, 2019 at 23 degrees 9 minutes when Saturn is at 20 degrees 28 minutes. Truly this is a defining period of time in Aaron’s life with great change unfolding, but not without the emotional, mental or physical heavy lifting required by Capricorn.  Will a new family experience arise at this time?  There is significant potential for the planets being activated from his natal chart at this coming conjunction of transiting Saturn and Pluto.

Aaron’s 10th house of career is in Taurus, ruled by his natal Venus in 6th in Capricorn.  Aaron may come to understand his own lovability at a deeper level from his work and from the Aquarian themes of the work and projects he commits whole-heartedly to doing and that he shares with others.  He has witnessed in his own sister’s life another side of Capricorn, seeing her working very hard and operating “on fumes.”  She is highly educated and yet is challenged with mental health issues that she has to manage. The troubling awareness of suppressed childhood emotions and expressions he now observes in himself and his sister are a potential theme that he may offer the global village. Through meaningful work that brings change and helps others in his community, he has the potential to see his actions at work and have his enduring love for others be reflected back to him, but it all rests on the choices he makes in this part of his life to follow his heart.  It may not be his life-long career, but it may be his life-long passion for something dear to him that lights up his heart and carries him in the right direction for his intended evolution.  Venus in Capricorn is controlled in her loving and it gives shape to her love through loving actions, a service that is less romantic, yet responsible, nourishing, consistent and embodied in altruistic contributions.  Leo is about the heart, and Aaron’s south node also brings gifts related to heart centeredness from a knowing what the village needs to achieve this safe place of being creative and self-expressing in healthy ways.  This is who Aaron is at heart and how others see him with his Leo Ascendant. His life has prepared him for hard challenges, loss of friendships, sensitivity to other’s needs, dealing with demanding authority figures of all kinds, being suppressed, and the cost of that yearning for wholeness of self. He has lived through underworld journeys of several sorts in his life thus far that he brings into his maturity.  As he turns his focus from his self needs towards creative passion in his work, he can provide the light on the path for others that may be coming into awareness of their identity and guide tender adolescents who will benefit from learning about his experience and who will learn that each person is valuable and loveable in their unique way.  When Jupiter by secondary progression shifts from retrograde to direct on October 4, 2019, a significant moment may occur for Aaron in new awareness around themes of self-security, working with others, and nurturing others, as well as having important friendships.

Pluto in transit is ahead of Saturn in transit in Capricorn, placing them into a balsamic phase by transit (this transit in its balsamic phase is the case for everyone).  Aaron’s natal positions are Pluto (Scorpio) and Saturn (Capricorn), which are in a crescent phase at 61 degrees of separation.  The EA Glossary states this about the crescent phase:

The keyword for crescent phase is “struggle.” It is an inherently yin phase, whereas the new phase is inherently yang. Yang meaning energy moving out from center, projecting, and Yin meaning energy moving back to center, or retreating. In the crescent phase, energy is returning to center. If the energy was left unchecked in the new phase, it would simply blow out into space and in an utterly disintegrated fashion. Keep in mind that the essence of the new phase is a brand new evolutionary cycle which demanded the initiation of experience to create reaction which then determines knowledge. In the new phase, the actions are relatively random, although the various aspects promote a narrowing of experience. By the time the crescent phase happens, it is now time to withdraw from the excessive initiation of experience in order to consolidate and stabilize that which has been realized via the new phase, to establish it, to make it concrete, real, to give it roots. By giving it roots, allowing it to grow; yet still reflecting, however, on the individuality of the new cycle, new phase.  p.25

Throughout Aaron’s life his natal Pluto and Saturn are in the crescent phase.  As stated in the EA Glossary, “this is the phase of internalization of new phase, withdrawal, and struggle.  The feedback has been obtained. The need is to withdraw and to come to an understanding of who one is.”  *p.8   During this time when Saturn is catching up to Pluto in transit (balsamic in phase by transit), there will be parts of life that are being released and dynamically changed, such as in relationships, in ways of thinking, and when one is devoting themselves.,   What remains, what goes to be renewed, and what is connected to the coming new phase by transit in 2020 may be difficult to discern.

Aaron’s creative self-expression and ego is going through a deep metamorphous.  In this process he may come to new insights of where he will direct his creative efforts and work will be.  Around February 26th, as Saturn transits his natal Uranus, he may have new ideas about new paths.  He may feel pressure to make new commitments to his work and that he may need to invest more of himself into the process than he has in the past.  Life may still throw him curve balls to deal with in health or in a health crisis for someone he knows and cares for deeply.  The experiences that he must work through will invite him deeper into where he may share his heart with others in collective humanitarian works.  He knows he needs a place to be energized and passionate in his work, so he’s listening with an open heart.  Aaron is mindful of his energy being open and porous, which can lead to exhaustion if he doesn’t find time to be alone to recharge.  He had a recent falling out with a close friend, and it may be a time of deep challenges for this friend who has had recent health issues.  This friend has been an authority figure for Aaron as well.    Though Aaron has gained a level of independence that made him not look to authority figures to fulfill parental roles, therapy is helping him self-parent and learn how to ask for what he needs from people, not as a child, but as an empowered equal.  He’s still learning and this man has made a monumental and lasting impact in his life.

Coming later this year from August 31st through November 2, Pluto in transit is essentially parked in a conjunction with Aaron’s natal Saturn in Capricorn.  This is a period of profound change and heaviness and what feels like an insurmountable process.  Pluto is demanding to transform Aaron’s prior understanding and experience of Saturn in Capricorn into something new.  The new phase is on the horizon, but it is still the culmination and completion of his traditions his relationship with his parents, his relationship with authority figures, his own authority, and his sense of security going through a major paradigm shift.  He is bound to revisit things he learned from his parents during this time as well as his own conditioned thinking.  His ego may throw him around as it tries to hide from the demands of a Pluto transit in his 5th house.  Self security is a recurring theme for Aaron, and he will need his focus on this as the theme changes in this shift.  His parents taught him that everyone is doing the best they can, that it’s good to get a full night of sleep, and that he’ll need to give himself the same grace during this time.  How will Aaron bundle his passionate thoughts on climate change, security for humanity on earth, in our communities with this new understanding that we all must work together?  Aaron’s dynamic change in the next three years while in his Saturn return will not only influence his creative 5th house and his heart, but will also be connected to his work life, his daily habits, the gurus or mentors he entrusts, and his work relationships.   Transiting Uranus this coming May 2018 will ingress into Taurus squaring his Sun in Aquarius as transiting Mars conjuncts his Sun.  Uranus is the awakener, and this coming transit may be the entry into what his soul is bringing to his conscious awareness.  The unexpected events of life draw us out into a new arena where we must engage courageously (Mars) and understand ourselves in a new light.

In Part Two for Aaron (expected sometime in June), we will explore his natal chart, the transits of the moment, and secondary progressions to see what is unfolding for him and where he is redirected along the switchback up the mountain of life.