Live wisely in expanded awareness of the cosmos and number vibrations influencing your life. Hermetic wisdom, as above, so below, is where you will find your truth. ~ Sarrah West

Up the Mountain Saturn in Capricorn – Part One – Alice

Alice made her entrance December 18, 1988, in Arlington, Texas.  With Taurus rising at zero degrees ten minutes and with the moon rising swiftly after at one degree three minutes, we immediately sense her calm presence the world sees when first meeting her.   Alice came to know her mother, her heroine, in her childhood and dreamed of one day emulating her.  They retain a steady loving relationship to this day.  We sense the maturing Alice as she speaks about reconnecting with her father, noting she had a father when some people do not, and she took action to reconnect in an adult relationship with him after struggling with their relationship in her adolescence, especially after her parents’ divorce.  The relationship with her brother is fertile soil for personal and spiritual growth, at a minimum this relationship is a place she embarks on strict boundaries discerning when to engage the connection as she reinforces her value and worth. Alice’s Sun is in Sagittarius at 27 degrees eight minutes and it shines from the ninth house to her first house (out of sign). Her Sagittarius light comes through in her playful and gregarious laugh.  It’s easy to talk with her, but maybe that’s because she was born eighteen years from my own birthday, I’m sure to be biased from many planets connecting in our natal synastry.

Alice’s Saturn return will be abundant with experiences with her Capricorn stellium with Uranus, Saturn, Mercury and Neptune and then her Midheaven at 18 degrees 58 minutes.  Her natal Uranus at zero degrees 57 minutes jumps off her chart at, it is a key influence for her truth expressed in her identity, in an exact trine to her Ascendant within 54 minutes.   The Uranus influence is visible in Alice’s edgy blue hair style and the bright rims of her glasses.  One cannot help but think, “who is this edgy blue-hue haired smiling woman?”  Presently Alice’s a hairstylist, a profession that she was attracted to for its artistic appeal and non-attachment to a final product.  Painting, her first love, is a pleasant and worthy outlet for her artistic expression, but she found it tugged on her emotional connection.  Moreover, her attachment to the beautiful paintings she created and that were worth selling made her feel that she could not part with them.  Being a cosmetologist and stylist is another way to be creative and earn a living.  In recent months Alice has started studying and exploring astrology, giving additional shape to the Uranus which aspects her Ascendant from Capricorn and also her 10th and 11th house.  She labeled herself a “newbie” to astrology, but she is interested in understanding it better with study.  With a few years of experience with Tarot, Astrology seems like a natural fit to also explore.

Where is life calling for Alice to grow?  Let’s take a look at her nodal story.  The key to understanding Alice’s soul evolution and destiny is the South Node of the moon in Virgo in the fifth house.  The North Node of the Moon in Pisces at 7 degrees 49 minutes (both nodes retrograde) in the eleventh with her skipped step Venus at one degree 21 minutes in the eight house square the nodes from Sagittarius. Alice’s identity has a tie to her South Node, which has a potential for bringing forward her skills and talents she has through creative expression this life.  Though her challenge, the block that she didn’t quite get around before was her eighth house Venus in Sagittarius.  In this life, perhaps with more awareness to her soul’s intention, she will find the strength and self-honesty to tackle the Venus in Sagittarius 8th house themes again and move her progress forward to unfold with greater gains towards her Pisces North Node in the eleventh house, a house ruled by her Uranus in Capricorn.  Friendships and broadening consciousness through her participation in groups or clubs will be places of potential for Alice’s North Node in the 11th.

What will she do this time?  How are Alice’s creative gifts the juice behind her evolutionary growth?  How are her ideas about her self-worth part of the puzzle?  How are her challenges around trust and boundaries tapping on her again for lessons in hopes of achieving a freedom of self expression unbound and released from previous wounds to her individual self expression?  Her personal truth is under re-construction here.  There’s ample support from her natal Jupiter in Taurus at 27 degrees 50 minutes.  While retrograde at birth, it will station direct in her Secondary Progressed chart in her 33rd year, coming after her Saturn return, and will perhaps bring new wisdom to new gains.  Jupiter rules Alice’s Sun.  Likely during this period of her Saturn return there will be new insights given to her, unfolding her authentic self from her career and work.  She will also ponder choices in higher learning to which she applies herself.  Additionally, the higher learning she completes may create another channel for creativity and self identity.  Based on Alice’s choices for her focus this combination has the potential to give her deeper awareness what she is still working on to unblock in specific behaviors that hold her in the pattern.

Let’s review her Venus in the eighth house in Sagittarius starts with exploring eighth house themes within the context of personal truth (Sagittarius).  Eighth house is connected to shared resources, other people’s money, her spouse or partner’s money, inheritance, and even death and taxes.  It also could be around intimacy and the capacity to feel secure enough to share oneself in authentic sexual expression, or even thoughts and perceptions on self worth and others’ values at a deep level.  Also, this is symbolic of her own values too, from second house with Taurus as ruler.  Venus rules the first house, so the block is intimately and directly tied to personality and self identity. Taurus in the second as well, Venus rules the second house. So we see Alice’s Venus ties to personal identity, her vitality and material possessions, money, her own resources and overarching values in her consciousness. How Alice has been expressing consciously and unconsciously these themes of her Venus have been hindering her growth towards dreams and aspirations of eleventh house North Node in Pisces.

Perhaps a ritual of making sand mandalas is a worthwhile endeavor in practicing non-attachment?  Perhaps the work as a hair-stylist is in itself a daily practice of the creative process and non-attachment.  She’s certainly not going to take her clients home for the pleasure of holding onto her creation.   This is an important exercise in working with creativity and the outcome, and her values.   There will be additional opportunities for exploring shared resources as well.  Alice acknowledges with a big grin how glad she is to have her own room in the building as other stylists where no one can touch her stuff.  We both laughed seeing the connection to her emotional connection to things she values.  She firmly says, “I don’t like people touching my stuff.”  Now we’re getting into her Venus skipped step!  Eighth house is also about your closest relationships, about intimacy; ultimately eighth house relates to whom you can trust, relating with someone where you are and exactly who you are at heart. It takes absolute honesty with oneself to be there, to be so naked with another, and I’m not speaking of just a lack of clothing here!  Self honesty and trust are merging deeper in this space of eighth house.  Without self honesty, there is a lack of trust, not just with oneself but also reflected with others we are close to.  We would need to explores themes of any moments in life with dishonesty, or betrayal, and how this blocked her.  The eighth house skipped step Venus (values) would be in these types of experiences.  If we have distrust there’s another layer there to dig for self-awareness.  A person may experience dishonesty in others also as part of the value being emphasized for closer examination.  Other people we interact with will reflect back to us what we have in ourselves that we are not fully conscious.   It may relate to just one traumatic event that the emotional block is tied to that we’ve not been able to forgive and release. The shadow is there for us to bring our awareness to the matter and grow. Either way it’s experienced, giver or receiver, it’s a block. What’s the key to unlock it?  One little thing most of us learned as kids, is forgiveness.  One of the most challenging actions to actually do when we’ve been deeply hurt, and sadly we often find it’s even harder to give to ourselves when we realize how we’ve sabotaged our worthiness and freedom of self expression and love.

Virgo South Node gives us some hints as the resolution node for the Venus skipped step.  The inner critic is taking on a louder-than-usual inner voice about our worthiness for love.  Sometimes we have experiences which help us learn to say no, that’s it, this is too much. Finally getting to really own your self-worth in love and respect by setting down a hard boundary.  Someone who hasn’t set clear boundaries often most likely lacks a good role model in their close circle of influence. Setting boundaries with resolute firmness can feel quite overwhelming.   But when a person really embodies the truth of their worthiness, setting the boundaries is a solid action in their evolutionary growth curve.  Recognizing and acknowledging worthiness of love is a first step.

Alice’s first nodal return, just after age eighteen, exactly highlights her owning her worth. Alice shared that just after her eighteenth birthday she had a relationship that was quite abusive mentally, emotionally, sexually and even tripped her into substance abuse. She had lost sight of herself.  She finally realized how damaging this relationship was for her and ultimately ended it, and led her life in a new direction. That decision took guts and clarity of her personal truth with strict self-honesty to make the change happen.  Venus in our charts is also about discernment in loving connections and our choices of who we choose as a partner. For some of us it takes a rough experience to toughen our discernment of someone’s character in the early stages of relationship.

Natal Venus for Alice is 150 degrees from the Ascendant.  This is known as an inconjunct, which is an aspect where the two parties cannot see each other; they are incongruent; they are out of touch.  Venus in Alice’s chart cannot see her Ascendant.  Because of this aspect she has a bit of a challenge with themes around her identity and conscious bridge to her values.  Her natal Sun is in view of her Ascendant and provides her ample support to her vitality.  Mars is another personal planet, hers in Aries in her twelfth house.  She has an intensity of flow, a potential erratic energy beneath the surface of her calm face to the world we get from her Taurus rising.  Buried anger is one potential here she may have to address with awareness how she may be set off by others or the mode of her environment.  By sign, Mars is fire and from the twelfth house can be symbolic for self-undoing and self-sabotage, and when that happens it happens swiftly, due to its sign of Aries. Behind closed doors, only those close to her would know how this shows up.   Anger can be the unraveling of her calm demeanor and can lead her into a downward spiral if she doesn’t tune into her feelings and find a way to get what’s buried in her unconscious up and processed with some reflection and self care.

Art is one of Alice’s best portals.  She may need to find additional ways to express her Mars energy with healthy outlets.  Regression therapy is also a tool for understanding the buried anger and frustration with even deeper with insights.  There’s the danger of leaving suppressed anger in the body.  Often it will come out in the worst of moments projected out of frustration, anger, or fear onto another.    Alice’s Mars at 13 degrees 48 minutes Aries needs movement. Exercise and the practice of active imagination or dream work will help move it.  The subconscious has a strong current below the surface that is always there and speaks to the unexpected potential and perhaps an unrecognized competitive nature.  Alice has keen insights to offer, even a pioneer unfolding, as she may find herself redirected suddenly from her natal Uranus placement.  With Alice, we are bound to see an unexpected new direction that happens on a whim or wisp of inspiration more than once in her life.  Aries ruled by Mars is intercepted in the twelfth, another indication that it is tough for Alice to see and understand the hidden anger or frustration, to integrate it, but not impossible with help from a guiding, trusted mentor or counselor.

There is also the connection to Scorpio, as Mars co-rules Scorpio with Pluto.  It may be hard for Alice to see the power (Pluto) in others and may be difficult to maneuver away from a powerful partner if the relationship goes astray of where she is comfortable.  Another awareness around her Venus in the eighth house as her skipped step is power in others and how it has hurt her.  Her Taurus first house and moon in Taurus will seek the safest route to her survival, which also speaks to the mistrust with others she shared earlier.

By Solar Arc Alice’s natal moon in Taurus moved to fourteen degrees Taurus around age thirteen, where it was opposite her natal Pluto.  In this time period Alice said, her mother, someone she loved deeply and connected well with all the years prior, found herself in a difficult time.  She went into absolute frustration and dislike of her mother, especially as her authority figure after her parents’ divorce.  At this same time (age 13-14) transiting Saturn is opposite natal Saturn, a transit that occurs for everyone, which was a double marker for the tension she experience.  Take note the tension is from an authority figure, her natal Saturn in Capricorn, opposite the Saturn in transit in Cancer (her fourth house of home and family ruled by Cancer the moon and tenth ruled by her Saturn).   This challenging time reflected in the themes of both fourth and tenth houses and sign rulers.  When she was sixteen she noted that they had moved on from that challenging period. She clearly remembers this difficult time and gained new understanding around her natal Pluto in the seventh house in Scorpio.  From an inner planet perspective, Mars is the only one that is in an intercepted sign.  Mars also squares by sign her Capricorn stellium in her ninth house, creating a stressful situation for her during that development period with her mother and she may see the pattern again (though likely with other people) when activated by transits in any of the cardinal signs.  Capricorn in the ninth house with Saturn in Capricorn, the sign it rules, is the enduring duty-driven part of Alice’s personality.

Although she’s already come up against disillusionment related to reality and what she thought it should be, Alice is coming to know her own truth and redefining her beliefs with each new awareness she integrates. Alice’s mastering her growth through trial and error.  She must act on her a-ha moments and inspirations along the path in being true to herself, above all else.  This will allow her to trust herself more as she’s considering new information to reconfigure what she values.  Her Mercury at six degrees 50 minutes conjunct Saturn at four degrees 57 minutes speaks to her logical and practical approach to higher learning and her truth. Her BS detector is getting more powerful. Chiron opposite at four degrees Cancer to her Saturn is a lifelong tension around self-security, especially in her perception of herself with others, as well as her mental agility with impulses she gets for new directions to take. Some insights to her Chiron have come through the relationships with her older brother and her father. Through experience, time, and maturity, she is likely to appreciate this tension and mental current, knowing the gifts of inspiration or wisdom of what that unexpected current of energy means to her creativity swirling beneath the surface and ready to take shape.  She is learning to trust this undercurrent related to her own perception and understanding.

Learning computers and programming is the most recent drop of Alice’s inspirations.  We’ll see what comes during her Saturn return and if that unlocks the bundle of energy within her for a new channel to her self-identity.  On the horizon Alice has Secondary Progressed Mars about to conjunct her Ascendant in Taurus on October 14, 2020, though she’s bound to feel the shift into Taurus a few months earlier on June 21, 2020, which is close to her Ascendant.   Her creative endeavors and any higher education she takes on now in her Saturn return may be part of that changing dynamic in her understanding of herself in the world.   In a few months we’ll explore more of Alice’s Secondary Progressions and transits to see what new inspirations, questions, and possible concerns arise.